How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
