I didn't shave. On purpose
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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