I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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