Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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