I don't think brook has ever known best
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
