Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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