The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
