i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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