Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
