FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
