I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
