yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
