i just had sex bonerless
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
