she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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