He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
