is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
