what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
