erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
