At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
