wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize