Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
