Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
