Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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