we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
