i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Two words: blizzard sex
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
