Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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