Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
