he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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