He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
