i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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