We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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