it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
