nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
