what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
NoShamevember. You game?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
