so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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