my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
