hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
