so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize