Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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