please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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