:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
