I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Randomize
