Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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