Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
