No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize