i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
