I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
