Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
