are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
