it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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