tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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