just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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