do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
