So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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