She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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