butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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