let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
