There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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