So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
