I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
