We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
