i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
