According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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