I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
