well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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